I recently watched the movie ‘Serious Men’, which shares an interestingly intriguing story of a lower-middle-class family of three–father, mother, and son.
The father works as an assistant to an astronomer at the National Institute of Fundamental Research in Mumbai who is discontented with his social status and wants a great future for his only son.
In his bid to give his son a great future, he swindles everyone by presenting his son as some genius overnight. But all the father did was arm-twisting his son to memorize difficult theories.
But for the son, the forceful effort of his father was gibberish as he had no idea of apprehending what he was memorizing. It was all toilsome and fatiguing for the son.
The boy was praised by people. But little did the father know how his son was feeling. The father couldn’t see his child’s suffering and pain. The little boy just dreamed of having a normal life, but his father’s desire to make him successful was just making his life more miserable.
Watching the movie made me realize how parents’ will to make their children successful makes their life miserable sometimes.
“Children are the gift of god!”, “Children are the raw clay, they take the shape that they get!”, “Nurture is what impacts the growth of children!” These phrases are familiar to all of us, but on the other hand, we tend to pressurize them to be better than everyone else. Be it studies, sports, or any other sector, we, as a parent, want our child to be successful, no matter what.
We even compare them with children of their ages. This hypocrisy is an obstacle to the growth of children.
According to child psychologists, comparing your child and pressurizing them to do better can lead your child to stress, lowers self-esteem, lowers self-worth, shy away from social situations, build a carefree attitude, suppresses talents, distance from you, and foster rivalry with others.
More than anything they are unable to manifest their actual abilities. They even get annoyed with their parents and don’t want to build any connection with them.
One of the supreme characteristics of a child is being inquisitive, but such negative vibes shatter this character from them. Criticisms from their very own parents make them fragile.
Albert Einstein once said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” We have heard of this quote often, haven’t we? But have we actually ever thought of implementing it in real life?
Even the education system has somehow brought this situation to both parents and students. Wondering why? Students with different backgrounds, natures, and environments are constrained in one room for almost eight hours, sometimes not even letting them speak their hearts out. Instructing them and constraining them and their thoughts. The most infuriating thing is the examination. Students sit for examinations for certain hours with extreme restrictions.
And, students are ranked just on the basis of examinations taken for a few hours. How can just an examination identify the capability of students? Can a sheet of paper identify the talent of students?
Just after the school publishes the result, I say the comparison of students; parents, too, start the comparison. But all students need is support and counseling.
An article published in ‘International Journal of Mental Health System’ on the topic, ‘Child and adolescent mental health problems in Nepal: A scoping review’ states, “Globally, 10–20% of children and adolescents suffer from mental disorders, with half of all them starting by the age of 14 and three-quarters before the age of 25.
In Nepal, 40% of the population is younger than 18 years of age, and as such, there is a large proportion of the population that is at risk of developing a mental disorder.”
According to some reports in the Solomon Islands of the Pacific, the islanders practice a special form of curse magic. “If a tree needs to be cut down and it is too big to be chopped down, it is brought down by the combined efforts of the Islanders cursing negatively and yelling at the tree. This negative energy somehow damages the tree’s life energy, the result being after about 30 days of getting cursed the tree dies off and falls to the ground!”
Now just imagine if plants are affected by negative vibes then how much negative energy and negative words affect the growing mind of a child!
“Children are not things to be molded but are people to be unfolded.” according to Jess Lair, an author.
I believe children are to be guided to the right path, right as in the path which leads and encourages them to foster their talents and abilities. I believe every child is gifted.
You must have watched the Hindi movie “Taare Zameen Par”. The movie perfectly pictures how every child has the capability of doing well if they are motivated.
So instead of demotivating them, it’s high time we realize to motivate them towards a bright future by witnessing their growth. Believing that they will grow in their own beautiful manner. They must be taught to be disciplined, but not constrained.
Research at the University of Zurich found that like fingerprints, no two anatomies of brains are the same.
After all, today’s children are the future of tomorrow.